War brings profits home

In 2003 the price of a barrel of oil was $32 as President Bush pushed for an Invasion of Iraq. Today it is near $135 per barrel thanks to the ongoing war.

The rise in the price of oil has been a tremendous boon to many American families who own oil stocks. Oil company profits are at an all time high, thanks to President Bush and his partners. "Last year I wasn't able to buy a yacht, but thanks to the increase the in price of oil, my wife and I won't have any problem this year, " Said Thurston Howdoudo at a recent Carl Rove fundraiser.

Search on for America

Just as the American Idol television show closed for the season, a new search is on - for the real America.

America has been missing for quite some time. America's parents noticed that the country had disappeared in 2002, after a visit by Congress.

"We didn't think that having Congress and the President over would lead to this," said America's parents. "We trusted them. Now America is missing and we just want her back."

State officials issued an Amber Alert as soon as they heard that America was missing. However, she hasn't been heared from since. America is very young

The U.S. miltiary surge in Iraq, begun in spring 2007, is "showing excellent success" according to Administration and military officials. Modeled on Napolean Bonaparte's 1815 campaign in Belgium, the surge emphasizes attacks on the Hougoumont insurgent forces of Iraq.

As a main ideological effort of Republican and Democratic neocons, the surge has been a fatastic success. "Right now I can't think of anyone I would rather have campaigning for me than President Bush or General Petreaus," said Congressmen Dee Featcom of Iowa's third district. Like many politicians, the congressman knows that the success of his election and that